Friday, May 9, 2014

immeasurably, immeasurably more

monday is my last day of sophomore year. where did the time go? i feel like it was just yesterday that i was driving from nashville to waco completely unsure of what was ahead of me for the next 9 months. Jesus had a lot of surprises in store & lots of lessons to teach me! i'm freaking out as i think about being halfway done with college.

"forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, i press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." philippians 3:13-14

upon arriving at here, i was bombarded with a LOT of new faces that i quickly grew to love. from people i met around campus, to new tri delta's i met by the dozens, to professors and roommates, these people have been consistent in loving me as Christ loves. they love without condition; they live with the overflow of the holy spirit in them. it has been inspiring to watch as i've learned what it means to love others the same way.

adventuring has become one of my hobbies this year. it makes life exciting! at the end of the day, it's not the countless hours that i spent in the library that i'll remember-- it's the little, out of the ordinary things-- the concerts, the weekends spent with friends, the football games, the lunch dates that turned into hour-long conversations-- that made this year as wonderful as it was.

on a more serious note, i realized that i worship my schedule. i glorify busyness. just when i thought that there was no way that Jesus could strip me of my pride any more than he had my freshman year at ole miss, He found another way to pull it off... and even though i'm suffering the consequences now, i am glad He did :) i naively over-committed myself in my classes, participated in sing, held an officer position in tri delta and tried to have a social life and let me tell ya... it doesn't work if you're trying to make it on your own.

i thought that i could handle financial accounting, microeconomics and quantitative business analysis by my own strength. YEAH RIGHT. i've never been a straight-A student, but i've certainly found a significant amount of security in my grades. the Lord was faithful to humble me. i came to the realization last week as i was writing a paper for one of my classes that i am a slave to my schedule, and this will never carry me far as a Christ follower. psalm 46:10 says to be still and know that He is God. rarely do i take the time to simply rest in His presence and be reminded of His love and peace that passes all understanding. it is way too easy to get wrapped up in my own little world and rely on my own sufficiency to accomplish my tasks. there is an enormous amount of pressure placed on us as college students to get good grades, know what we're doing with our lives and know the steps we need to take to get to where we want to be. consequently, it causes me to picture my life five, ten or even fifteen years down the road: where will i be living? what will my job be? what will my position be within that job? what will my salary be? will i be married, and will i still be friends with the people i'm friends with now? then i have to stop and remind myself that this is not where my identity lies. my identity is in Christ and who He says i am. i am not what my GPA says, and i am not what my future job title says. i won't wake up and have my problems of being too self-sufficient and too fearful of the future solved overnight. it will probably always be something that is a struggle to surrender, but by His grace, little by little, He will mold me into someone who mirrors Himself. i am so excited to return to baylor in august for another year of immeasurably more.

"great is thy faithfulness! morning by morning new mercies i see. ALL i have needed thy hands have provided-- great is thy faithfulness, lord, unto me!"

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